I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
