3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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