My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
