do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
