just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
