She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
