It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
