i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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