i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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