You really coming over, don't trick.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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