I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
