I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
