the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
