if only i could text you this smell
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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