I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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