I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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