First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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