i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
