he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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