Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
That accounts for only three of the penises
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
