Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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