when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
