Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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