whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
