It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
