My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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