this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
