I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We were destined to go to rehab together
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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