I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
