Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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