I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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