Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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