I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
