I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
A+ Viking dick
So here I am, sexting at work.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
