YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
