Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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