I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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