So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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