woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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