found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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