I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
