Say something about gay babies.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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