I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
