Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Barsexuality is the new black.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
