He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
