I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
