Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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