A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
