grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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