Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
