Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Your cock deserves a montage
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
