how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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