I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You pole danced in your parka.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
