im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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