how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
