I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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